


Con Artist or Accidental Pickup Artist

by writingdetritus



Series: Kiss the Sky [1]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: F/F, no one can stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9461852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdetritus/pseuds/writingdetritus
Summary: Fiona meets Maya or Maya meets Fiona





	

Fiona felt like she was on top of the world. She was actually making it as a vault hunter. Her rap sheet for taking out one of the biggest vault monsters was seemingly legendary within the type of circles she wanted to be involved in. She had shiny new shoes, and a brand new hat. She was moving up in the world and she was about get acquainted with some new vault hunters via Zer0. She felt awesome… except for the boiling nervousness that was her stomach.

The bar she entered was heavy with smoke. Bandits sat at the counter and an old radio blasted some horrible static interspersed with what seemed to be music. The lighting was dim and the bartender looked like he had been on the wrong end of a pissed off skag. Fiona didn’t particularly like bars to begin with and this was definitely on the bottom of her list. But she straightened her collar, tugged her hat so it was placed jauntily on her head and walked up to the counter to get the bartender's attention.

“Yeah I’ll have… half pint Cracked Bandit Wheat,” She said confidently, placing a few bucks on the counter. The bartender swiped them away with his cleaning rag and poured her the frothy light beer. “Hey uh… I’m supposed to be meeting up with some people. Has a weird… ninja who talks with emoticons come around here?” Fiona leaned across the counter, trying to not get her sleeve in whatever that gross liquid that was leaking from a passed out bandit’s mouth. The bartender looked at her, his blind eye glinting in the weird light. Then he shrugged and turned away. “Well at least change the radio station! This is garbage! 1691.96 is good and you should be getting a better signal than -” With a glare the bartender turned up the radio static. “... that piece of shit station…” Fiona muttered.

She turned around, beer in hand and surveyed the bar. It was decently crowded, with a game of pool that looked to be maybe getting heated in the corner and a few booths seemed to be filled with dealers and snakes alike. Blegh. She didn’t like it at all. If only Sasha had agreed to come with her for this meeting, but she wasn’t quite as enthralled with the whole Vault Hunter hocus pocus that Fiona seemed to be sick on.

But where the hell was Zer0? She thought he was going to introduce her to some old buddies of his but also maybe he had just given her the address of this bar to get her off his back. And Athena wasn’t much help, having just been honeymooning with Janey Springs and didn’t have time for Fiona.

Oh Athena… When would Fiona ever get over that badass… scary as hell… obviously-committed-to-another-woman gladiator? Fiona stared down into the bubbles of her drink, watching them swirl and pop at the surface. What a bust. She suddenly didn’t feel so on top of the world as she had 15 minutes earlier. The smoke was also getting to her. It was thick and greasy feeling and she could feel her throat tickling. Maybe she should get out of here sooner than later. Finish the beer and then leave. She couldn’t help the sneeze, making the bandit next to her shift on his barstool and open one lazy eye and look at her warily. God, it felt like her eyes were going to water right out of  her head with this stench - 

“I was going to say ‘bless you’ but from the looks of it you’ve already been blessed,” said a voice next to Fiona, awfully close. Fiona jumped, the beer sopping over onto her boots, her hat tipping over into her face. A slender hand lifted it off and Fiona was faced with a very tall, very blue woman with a serious but smirking face.

“Uh… what?” Fiona asked, taking her hat back quickly and setting the beer down. “Uh… wait who….” She suddenly felt hot and flustered and all over the place. She turned around, facing back over the counter, clutching for her drink. But she had to do a double take when she saw the swirling tattoo patterns on the stranger’s arm.

“Whoa… whoa whoa whoa hold on a sec,” Fiona stood up straight, her eyes wide. “You’re a for real life fuckin siren!”

“For… real life?” A pair of blue eyebrows were raised and Fiona wished the earth would swallow her up right then. A siren, in front of her. A real life, badass, beautiful…? siren. “But yes, I am a “for real life” siren. Maya, by the way.”

“Uhm,” Fiona stared at the outstretched hand in front of her, following the tattooed arm up to the face. She seemed kind, if not a bit battle hardened. Her eyes were light and fierce but her smile was soft and forgiving. Fiona inwardly shook herself. “Uh, Fiona. I’m Fiona.” She shook hands with the siren - Maya - when suddenly Maya gripped her hand a little tighter. 

“Wait Fiona? You don’t happen to be that con-artist turned Vault Hunter that Zer0 messaged me about.” The soft smile had turned into a keen grin and her eyes were alight.

“Y-yeah, that’s me alright!” Fiona nervously grinned back, and then clumsily brought the pint glass up to her lips, hoping the alcohol would calm her shattered nerves and not spill down her front. “Wait! Ha, so you’re a Vault Hunter too?” Fiona asked suddenly, setting the glass down too hard and it frothed over, covering her hand in a sticky mess. Gross. What a great impression she was making.

“Yes, Zer0 said you wanted to make more contacts, see if you’d fit in with any squads. If you come outside, I can introduce you to a few others,” Maya gestured her gloved hand towards the door, pressing the tattooed one into Fiona’s back to push her forwards. Fiona felt like she might pass out. More Vault Hunters? A siren assisting her? “I thought he would be coming here with you, maybe he’s late,” Maya muttered, guiding Fiona out of the dive bar. 

The fresh air was nice, but the screeching static seemed to have lodged itself in Fiona’s ears and she couldn’t hear anything beyond a few far off words Maya was saying to her as they walked under the night sky. Her cheeks felt hot and her palms were sticky with sweat. Wait, when Maya had first walked up to her in that bar.... Fiona’s boot crunched glass on the ground and she was acutely aware of Maya’s hand still on her shoulder. When she had walked up to her in the bar… it wasn’t because she knew Fiona was a Vault Hunter… she had.

“ - so you’ll hopefully enjoy meeting the others, and the Crimson Raiders,” Maya was saying.

“Wait hold on,” Fiona felt like she had expelled all the air in her lungs with those three words. She stopped and gulped foolishly at the crisp night, hoping the sky might open up and strike her with lightning. “Were you… trying to pick me up in that bar back there?” She could see it now, the headlines -  _ Freak Storm Strikes N00b Vault Hunter.  _

“Uh… yeah?” Maya looked down at her quizzically, like that was the most fucking obvious thing in the world. Which… thinking on it, it was….

“Oh, okay,” Fiona said and kept walking.  _ Fiona, of Hollow Point, was struck down this past week by a mini hurricane because whomever was listening up there took pity on her mortal soul and decided to help a girl out. _

Maya ran up after her, “I mean, is that alright? Did I freak you out?” Fiona didn’t turn around, kept walking in a straight line. Maybe she would end up in the badlands, and a skag would get her. Or maybe some prehistoric bird of prey would swoop down and peck out her eyeballs. If she kept going maybe she would discover the world  _ was  _ flat and she would walk right off the edge. That would be nice. Just freefalling into space forever.

“Are you alright?” Maya asked, still keeping pace with Fiona’s brisk, determined death march. “You stopped talking.”

“Uhhhmm,” Fiona finally took a breath and stopped. “Yeah it’s alright, I just, what just happened, I…” Maya laughed, it was a sincere laugh, one that was deep and nice and one you could laugh with. Fiona looked up at Maya and smiled. “Doesn’t happen a lot to me, and definitely not from a Siren.”

“Too bad, but there are only 6 of us in the whole galaxy,” Maya smiled at Fiona, the neon sign of the bar reflecting off her silver eyes. “But, out of curiosity, where were you going? We’re heading this way.” Maya turned Fiona around and walked her down a dark street.

“Hey Siren,” A gruff voice said in the shadows, making Fiona’s skin crawl. Maya stopped and turned towards the voice.

“Mordecai! Fantastic,” Maya said, but she wasn’t smiling anymore. Suddenly she seemed down to business.

Mordecai stepped out of the shadows and Fiona felt the blood drain away from her face, her hands automatically raising up to draw her pistol to point at the sniper. The only other time she had seen that goateed face was when he dragged Athena away on Vallory’s “good will”, and she had hoped it would be the last.

“Whoa there little lady,” Mordecai raised his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t get too fancy with… that… what is that?”

“So I’m guessing you’ve met?” Maya asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah we have, under not-so-good circumstances,” Fiona growled, still keeping Mordecai in her sights.

“We have?” Mordecai asked, and then coughed.

“Of course we have. You were the one who nearly  _ killed  _ Athena! You dragged her away and I couldn’t stop you, so consider this turning in my rain check,” Fiona stepped closer to Mordecai, her heels clacking on the wood sidewalk.

“Ok, whoa, slow down Fiona,” Maya finally stepped in, pulling Fiona away with hardly any force. “Are you talking about the Gladiator, Athena? Wait, that’s right,  she took down the Traveler vault monster with you right?”

“That’s right, but not without a hangup from this guy and his thug friend,” Fiona spat, pushing against Maya’s arm. Mordecai shrugged and took a swig of his liquor.

“Fiona, stop.” Maya’s voice dropped and suddenly sounded dangerous. “We all have jobs to do. I don’t know Athena too well, but I’m sure Mordecai and I assume Brick had good reason to drag her off.” 

“Yeah, Lilith needed to talk to her, about Handsome Jack,” Mordecai inserted, leaning back against the wall behind him. “Had to do a job for the boss lady.”

“But she came back right? And helped you out with the Traveler. So no harm done,” Maya offered, her voice lightening a little bit.

“Except psychological damage,” Fiona muttered but she slid the pistol back into her sleeve, and stepped away from Mordecai. He wasn’t worth a bullet anyway. “Why is he here?” Fiona finally asked, realizing that Maya hadn’t seemed too surprised to find a familiar vault hunter in this ramshackle of a town.

“Zer0 messaged me about meeting a new up and coming Vault Hunter,” Mordecai shrugged, fixing his goggles more squarely on his face.

“Well you met her,” Maya said, stepping aside, gesturing at Fiona.

“Huh,” Mordecai looked Fiona up and down, picking his teeth. “Okay.”

Before Fiona could retort, a soft swish behind them made her jump around, only to find Zer0 standing picturesquely silhouetted by purple neon signs. Geeze, who even was this guy? 

“Hello there, Siren / I see you have met the new/ Vault Hunter in town,” Zer0 said, monotonically. 

“Yeah I have, and Mordecai,” Maya put her hand back on her exposed hip and tilted her head at Zer0. “Good eye buddy. She seems feisty and up to the task.”

“I have seen her take down/ a massive vault monster/ With some help from me. Of course.”

“Of course,” Fiona raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. Admittedly he had helped quite a bit but they also hadn’t technically fought together. Instead Rhys had claimed him to be inside of Gortys with himself. But… she wasn’t going to make a fuss about it now.

“Let’s head back to the bar, get some drinks and discuss where to go from here,” Maya suggested, putting her hand back on Fiona’s shoulder. Fiona could feel her face flush and a shiver ran up her spine as she felt Maya’s fingers grip her tightly.

“:)” Zer0 displayed, and they headed back to the smokey bar.

+++

4 AM and finally the radio had just started  to play some actual music. Fiona felt hot and happy, her hat discarded to the side, her jacket on the chair behind her. Maya was leaning back in her chair and grinning like a cheshire, as Zer0 continually projected “?” and “&&” as Mordecai droned on and on about some mission a few years back. 

Fiona couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped her and Maya was quick to notice. “Ok I think it’s time to break up this party. I’ve definitely had too much to drink,” Maya smiled at Fiona across the table.

“Yes / I must be going as well,” Zer0 said and stood up. He didn’t even bother to say goodbye, he just left.

“Mordecai, I’ll see you later,” Maya said, patting him on the shoulder. He smirked back at her.

“Good choice on this one,” He chuckled, gesturing at Fiona. She mustered a smile back. She still wasn’t sure what she thought of him, but the night and the alcohol had warmed him up a little for her.

Maya stood up and Fiona mimicked her, “Come say goodbye to me out here,” Maya gestured towards the door, and grabbed Fiona’s jacket from the chair beside her. “Too smokey in here for me.”

“Yeah,” Fiona was already following her out of the bar into the late night. 

The sky was scattered with a few high, dark blue clouds, but stars still twinkled down between them. Elpis was just a glimmer on the horizon, casting weird shadows in moonlight. Maya’s blue hair seemed to shine and cast its own eerie light around her face as she turned back to Fiona.

“You’ve got somewhere to go, right?” Maya asked, wrapping the jacket around Fiona’s shoulders. She didn’t let go of the collar.

“Yeah,” Fiona said. Her vocabulary must have died back in that bar or something. “Yeah, got a caravan just outside of town.”

“I’m glad I met you,” Maya smiled down at her, silver eyes glinting.

“M-me too,” Fiona stammered, her cheeks rushing with hot blood. Was it just her imagination or was Maya leaning down closer towards her. “Still kinda can’t believe I met a real life siren.”

“For real life,” Maya winked and Fiona laughed. And before she knew it, Maya kissed her gently on the lips. It was so soft and careful it shocked her, this powerful being that was like 6 feet tall or something was so tender. 

Fiona didn’t even realize that her hands had instinctively snaked around Maya’s waist and how she had started to stand on her toes, leaning up into the kiss. The wind blew against them, Maya’s hair tickling Fiona’s cheek, her hat slipping off onto the dusty ground. It was perfectly serene. 

“Be seeing you con-artist,” Maya said, breaking away and letting Fiona’s jacket go. Fiona - still standing on tiptoes - slowly opened her eyes and watched Maya walk away into the night.

Fiona picked up her hat from the ground, and then touched her lips as she walked to the edge of town. What a good night it had been.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to do art for this like my last tftb fic but i honestly have so little time right now and i just really like this story so maybe i'll add it later but i wanted to post it now.


End file.
